Anorexia gedichten & Boulimia gedichten

here I go again
down this destructive path
back to where it all began
the first time I got misled

the feeling of being fat
tight jeans
shirt
how could I ever forget

The way you talk makes me sick
and yet I believe your every word
the mirror argees
and I can’t cope with the overwhelming hurt

as I stumble and fall
I got lost again
you will stand trough it all
as I get pushed away

I’m falling apart
and all I can do is watch
eventhough it breaks my heart
I once again found comfort in your touch

as my tears fall down
I wonder where will it end?
as I look at myself and frown
I quess I will never be mend

Blown away
By the consistancy
Of the overpowering words you say
With such hatred

Knocked down
By your shattering voice inside my head
A complete brainwash
Filled with all the negative you’ve ever said

Crushed when you came back in
Everything I knew faded away
Ooh wreckless child
Just tell them you’re okey

Because only worse will come from fighting
And you know there is no cure
There is no use in all your hiding
Because you’ll take me back, for sure

I’m locked in by chains of hurt
Pain and heart-ache
And the need to let you back in
Which I know will be a mistake

So I try to resist
As you tempt me to do otherwise
But it gets harder everyday
As I start to see truth inside your lies

My boundaries you overcome
As you step foot inside my life
Trying to take control again
And just like that, all feeling goes numb

Sadness hides behind these eyes
Feeling like I fail in all that I do
And here I am, still waiting for the end
Still waiting for the last of you

It hurts like a failure
To crawl back into
Your armes again

I bend and break
Again and again
There is nothing left of me
What isn’t already yours to take

I hate the way you take control
And move me towards my breaking point
As if I’m just too easy to play
and manipulate

Once again I take a bow for you
Being your perfect little doll and all
When will this play come to an end
Well will I be able to stop this fall

Lost in confusion
Locked with chains
By the unability
To take action
Living in a delusion

Chaos inside the mind
With no pages to turn
Memories left behind
And the doors are shut

Fears form behind these eyes
And the pain is pushed away
Captured inside the mirror
Where I often tend to stay

To look with fear
And hatred
But to hold near
The shattered girl behind the glass

All the thoughts that overload
Drive me to go insane
Lost in confusion
Locked with a chain

Here we are again
Running in circles
Captured by pain
To regret, every now and then

The sadness takes a hold
On me, on life
Forgetting all that is told
And sit in vain

Torn apart
Shattered in pieces
Fighting for and against
A new beginning, a new start

With hurt in my heart
And the unspoken truth on my lips
I got lost
Again

here I am
facing the world
with bare hands
and open wounds

I stare
at the ones
I left
to run

I think of
my hopes
and dreams
and I reach out

to touch
to have
and to hold
to love

And I wonder
where did I go wrong
where did I go right
I never saw myself as strong
but I’m still here, putting up a fight