Welkom op deze anorexia & boulimia gedichtensite!

De insteek van deze website is om met behulp van gedichten herkenning te bieden aan mensen met een eetstoornis. Zelf strijd ik sinds 2005 tegen anorexia en boulimia nervosa. De op deze site geplaatste gedichten zijn gebaseerd op mijn gevecht tegen deze slopende ziekten. Ik hoop dat veel mensen zich kunnen herkennen en ook steun vinden in deze gedichten.

- Lorraine van Kemenade



blown away

4 september 2011 door Lorraine van Kemenade

Blown away
By the consistancy
Of the overpowering words you say
With such hatred

Knocked down
By your shattering voice inside my head
A complete brainwash
Filled with all the negative you’ve ever said

Crushed when you came back in
Everything I knew faded away
Ooh wreckless child
Just tell them you’re okey

Because only worse will come from fighting
And you know there is no cure
There is no use in all your hiding
Because you’ll take me back, for sure

Never again

11 augustus 2011 door Lorraine van Kemenade

To bend
Not break
Takes more
Than you’ll ever take

I hurt myself
By letting you in
And everytime I do
I let you win

I smile
When tears hide behind my eyes
True feeling never show
All they will ever see are lies

You held me back
For all those years
Feeding me with lies
Trowing fire on my fears

Never again
I screamed at you
Knowing you’d never believe
I meant those words to be true

sadness hides…

15 juli 2011 door Lorraine van Kemenade

I’m locked in by chains of hurt
Pain and heart-ache
And the need to let you back in
Which I know will be a mistake

So I try to resist
As you tempt me to do otherwise
But it gets harder everyday
As I start to see truth inside your lies

My boundaries you overcome
As you step foot inside my life
Trying to take control again
And just like that, all feeling goes numb

Sadness hides behind these eyes
Feeling like I fail in all that I do
And here I am, still waiting for the end
Still waiting for the last of you

hurts like failure

11 juli 2011 door Lorraine van Kemenade

It hurts like a failure
To crawl back into
Your armes again

I bend and break
Again and again
There is nothing left of me
What isn’t already yours to take

I hate the way you take control
And move me towards my breaking point
As if I’m just too easy to play
and manipulate

Once again I take a bow for you
Being your perfect little doll and all
When will this play come to an end
Well will I be able to stop this fall

forever lost

7 juli 2011 door Lorraine van Kemenade

Forever lost
In what was once found
No matter at what cost
I was ana-bound

For all the things she made me say
For all the things she made me do
I never mend to be this way
If only I’d seen the real you

Forever caught in confusion
Forever stuck in my brains way
I lived in an illusion
And I never thought I’d let her stay

For all the hatred and pain
That distroyed me by the mirrors view
There was nothing more to gain
As I layed down, in the destructive armes of you

take a bow

28 juni 2011 door Lorraine van Kemenade

With pain in the heart
And tears in my eyes
I fell apart
Within your lies

I stood to watch
How you got in
I trusted too much
A window to your sweetest sin

Blinded by faith
Eyes that no longer see
All I could do is wait
For a change in me

And for the courage to look
To overcome
All the pain it took
Must have made me numb

Words of pain
I tell you now
There is nothing more to gain
So please ana, take a bow

once upon a time

27 juni 2011 door Lorraine van Kemenade

Once upon a time
There was a girl
Who wanted to be perfect
In her perfect little world

But she took it to far
And ended up alone
And at war
With herself
And the little voice inside

Telling her not to eat
And not to feel
Holding on meens letting go
On life she cheats

Walls got build up
Sky high
With no one left to make her stop
Unwanted, unloved

She got lost
In perfection
The need to be skinny
Made her loose her direction

Her hopes and dreams
Faded away
They all made room for ana
And she’s here to stay